


AliCE in Twisted Musicland?!

by AlphAOmegA151



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game), Vocaloid
Genre: Canon Compliant?, Dangit Lewis Carrol I Don't Understand The Book, Gen, Googling for "fake" synonyms intensifies, I'm probably going offend the Riddle stans a bit, It was for the sake of Plot, OOC everywhere, Tense mistakes also everywhere, Try to guess who I stan, Watch as I grandly butcher the Classics, Why do all my fics have questionable and trippy tense usage, inaccurate depictions of grief, spare me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25400869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphAOmegA151/pseuds/AlphAOmegA151
Summary: Alternatively: the one where Ace gets very reluctantly roped into a semi-musical before realizing that he was not only the main character, but also the one who dreamed up that ten-minute musical in the first place.A crossover between Disney’s Twisted Wonderland (in particular Chapter One) and OSTER PROJECT’s Alice in Musicland since they’re both based off of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland (at least Heartslabyul for the former). Really, you saw this coming ages ago.Kind of a songfic.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	AliCE in Twisted Musicland?!

**Author's Note:**

> Inspirations:  
> Disney: Twisted Wonderland (characters, plot)  
> Alice in Musicland by OSTER PROJECT (plot, lyrics from Vocaloid Lyrics Wiki)  
> Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland (characters, plot)
> 
> 🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧
> 
> Shipping if you squint really damn hard and read with your non-dominant hand on a Thursday afternoon.
> 
> Beware the intense OOC, not sticking to the original plot, and being meaner to the characters due to plot necessities. I love them all, I swear!

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

**Prelude: Entrance of Musicland**

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Ace did not ask for extra homework, nor did he ask for extra Magic History lessons.

So why was he sitting at the communal area in the Heartslabyul Dorm, with an unreasonably large stack of homework right in his face and no idea on how to go about any of them?

Damn Professor Trein and his boringly strict teaching style.

“Deeeucee, I don’t wanna do this shit anymore!”

“Deal with it or you’re going to get detention like last time, Ace.”

While he’s at it, damn Deuce for being such a dick, too.

Actually, screw doing homework - Ace was going to get proper rest before he even tried to look at his homework again, and that was final. 

Having made up his mind, the first year put his hands on the table, one outstretched and supporting his head, and the other bent inwards.

It didn’t take him very long to fall asleep.

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

Ace blinked blearily. What time was it? Shit, he said he’d go to sleep, he didn’t expect it to take like, five hours-

-Oh, thank the Seven, it was still pretty bright outside. A check of the clock on the dorm wall revealed the time to be about four. Now, who to pester for answers to the multiple choice questions? Deuce, probably, but where was he-

Speak of the devil. As soon as the thought of the other teen had passed his mind, the person in question had exited the dorm corridors in a flash of blue and white and _wait, why was Deuce sprinting?!_ Shit, was there some event he had to get to quick? But there were no parties and flamingo duty definitely wasn’t today, for either of them, and Riddle was a lot less strict on his rules thing already, meaning that there was no need for Deuce to rush.

Then why _was_ he rushing? And why, in the name of any god that existed, was he wearing fucking _bunny ears_ of all things?!

“Deuce, dude, hold the fuck up!”

The only response he received was a muttered “shit, I’m gonna be late, shit, shit, shit…”

What the hell? Nevertheless, he needed the answers to the multiple choice (and Deuce’s strange fashion statement), and no one could stop him - he was getting them right. Now. 

And so Ace dashed out, nearly missing his classmate after turning a sharp right where he wasn’t supposed to, before opening the doors out of the dorm building-

-and fell down a rabbit hole.

“WHA-”

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The rabbit hole was much steeper than Ace would have liked. In fact, it was more of a straight freefall drop than anything.

Ace would, later, deny all accusations of have screamed like a little girl during the long drop down.

The fall still hadn’t ended, against all logic and common sense, and Ace had finally regained enough calmness to assess his (quickly changing) surroundings. There were shelves on the edges of the wall of the hole, randomly and haphazardly placed. Ace swore he saw a carton of eggs balancing precariously on the edge of one particularly unstable shelf - heh, Deuce would throw a fit and Riddle would have an aneurysm - and the most elaborate spice cabinet he had ever seen (fenu-what?!). Trey would probably kill for it. Hm. Speaking of Trey, why was there a bottle labelled “Strawberry Pie” of all things?

_Dammit, Deuce, I just want homework answers - I didn’t sign up for a full-on acid trip!_

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

After what seemed like an eternity, ( _Quit being such a drama queen, Ace,_ Yuu’s voice echoed in Ace’s head. _It was what, three minutes?_ ), the tunnel began to lighten up. Presumably, the exit was near. While relieved, Ace was more preoccupied with another far more pressing matter.

“Shit, I’m going to die!”

Thankfully, Ace was in his school uniform, and hence had his magic pen with him - hopefully he could use his wind magic to stop, or at least slow his fall…

“Please work--!”

A sudden, strong updraft started to blow beneath Ace, and he felt himself slow down, and relief welled up within Ace-

-But it wasn’t enough. The end of the drop was within sight, yet Ace was still approaching the ground at dangerous, lethal speeds-

Ace braced himself for the very painful and possibly lethal impact.

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**Busy Rabbit**

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Miraculously, Ace wasn’t dead. In fact, he wasn’t hurt in the slightest - not even a scratch or a bruise.

_How…?_

Maybe he had a concussion though - that would explain the background music ticking away in his ears.

Anyway, he didn’t have the time to worry about his possible injuries - he had a job to do, possible lethal injuries be damned. He was no hunter (unlike Rook), but he was going to find Deuce and demand explanations.

Think of the devil, and he shall appear, or so it seemed - he took a few steps forward, and saw Deuce (still wearing his rabbit ears and not in his dorm uniform anymore), pacing anxiously. 

“Gotta hurry, or I’ll be late! It’s not like I had any time to spare in first place, and I still got interrupted on the way…”

Well, it seemed like now would be the perfect time to interrupt him. Ace had to preserve his reputation of the ultimate asshole, after all, “Yo, Deuce! You better explain yourself!”

The bluenette in question swiveled around on his heels in shock, nearly tripping over the tail of his dark navy coat.

_Nailed it._

Ace heard Deuce choke on his spit, and tried to hold in a smirk. “W-Wha- What the hell- no, wait, who the fuck are you?! And how do you know my name?!” Deuce snarled, attempting to cover up his flailing not five seconds ago. Deuce squared his shoulders and cracked his fists - a sign of Deuce preparing to fight, something Ace had seen many times, whether it be directed at him or other people.

_Wait, what?_

_What kind of stupid, cruel joke was that?_

_No, Deuce wouldn’t make that kind of joke, that stick is far too up his ass for him to do it,_ Ace tried to reason with himself. _Something must be wrong… I’ll play along for now._

Ace’s internal panicking didn’t stop, but he managed to force himself to hold his poker face.

_Now, how do I explain knowing his name? …Eh, if he’s anything as gullible as the real Deuce is, then he’d probably believe me if I said it was a coincidence. Let’s try it._

“Lucky guess. Question for you.” Before the slightly taller boy could raise any objections or attempt to punch the vermillion-eyed male in the face, Ace had already barreled on, as if this was one of his conversations-slash-scam-attempts. “Where are you going? Why are you in such a hurry? A date, maybe? With who? When? Where?”

The Deuce lookalike looked dizzy and ready to collapse under Ace’s aggressive barrage of questions. Nevertheless, he attempted to answer the other boy’s questions, whether it be out of confusion or fake-Deuce genuinely lowering his guard. “Eh?! Um, Yes, I have to meet someone... He demands us to be _there_ soon, and he’s quite strict with time and rules, so…”

Strict with time and rules, huh? Much like a certain Dorm Head… Hold on, did Deuce not hear the “date” question, or was he deliberately not answering? ...Was kind-of-but-not-really-Deuce dating a maybe-Riddle?! ...He was probably overthinking it, but still. The mental image was too funny to pass up on. If this probably-or-probably-not-Riddle was as bad as the real one before the whole overblot fiasco happened, Ace might actually have felt bad for imposter-Deuce. Ace settled on responding with a nonchalant “That bad?” instead.

“Yes indeed!” came the almost-too-enthusiastic reply from the rabbit-eared boy. “That’s because he’s the Queen, after all!” 

_Whoa, careful there, Mr. Imposter. If the Queen catches you talking shit about him so eagerly, he just might behead y- wait,_ Queen _?!_

“Anyway, I don’t have much time left, so if you’re going to talk, save it for later!” As Deuce’s doppelganger walked away, Ace dimly registered that maybe-Deuce’s sentences were in sync with the clock-like ticking that resonated in his head, like the lyrics to a song.

“Hold it! Just tell me one more thing! Even in a time like this, it’s like you’re still singing cheerfully! What's up with that?”

“You don’t know?” Rabbit-Deuce blinked in confusion. “Why, this is Musicland - it’s only natural!”

“Uh… Musicland?”

“Yes, Musicland!”

“Isn’t it supposed to be Wonderland?”

"I have no idea where you got that from - the name of this place is Musicland.”

“Whatever you say, man.” A thought slipped into his mind and Ace let out a sinister laugh that would have made Ruggie and all of Octavinelle proud. “Hey, if you were is such a hurry, then why were you pacing and talking to me?”

“Shit!” Embarrassed, not-Deuce coughs to disguise his slip-up. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be off - goodbye, farewell, and until we meet again!” That being said, the rabbit hybrid immediately took off in a running start, and jumped impossibly far and high, likely in an attempt to build more speed and not be late to wherever he was going.

Operation make fake-Deuce freak the fuck out for funsies, success.

...Wait, what was that guy, anyway? Did Ace seriously… _forget_ to ask?

“Oi, come back!”

However, his call was for naught, for the other teen was already gone.

_Well, fuck me._

Ace sighed resignedly, then reluctantly ran in the direction the rushing rabbit had went. He didn’t know if he could keep up with the other’s freakish, almost inhuman speed, even with magic on his side, but he sure as hell would try.

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**Happy Singer**

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If Ace didn’t have his Physical Education lessons and his weekly chase for a misbehaving Grim, he would probably have collapsed where he stood out of exhaustion. Chasing rabbit-Deuce was like trying to chase Grim, except with double his normal nimbleness and Jack’s pure muscle and stamina.

In short, it was impossible.

Who knew someone resembling Deuce that much could be that quick?

_Oh, wait, the real Deuce is in the Track and Field Club, with_ Jack _. I should try and see how fast he can really run once I get back._

After giving himself some time to catch his breath, Ace surveyed his surroundings. A quick scan revealed it to be some kind of forest with giant mushrooms in place of trees. Did he accidentally inhale some kind of hallucinogen or something? There was no way mushrooms could be _that_ big and colourful - they were even more colourful (and probably more toxic) than some of Jade’s, for the Seven’s sake!

“What the hell is this place…?”

The ticking sounds from the plains had faded, only to be replaced by energetic trumpet notes after a melodious sweep of the harp. That was probably just Ace’s overactive imagination at work.

“Hey…”

Ace definitely did not imagine that voice. “W-who’s there?”

“You, over there…” Was it just Ace, or did this voice sound quite familiar to him?

“...me?” Ace hesitantly replied.

A different voice piped up this time, this one much louder, much more distinct, and much, much more annoying. “Yeah, you! Do you see anyone else with you, hedgehog head?!”

This voice was unmistakably Grim’s.

Before Ace could process rational thoughts regarding how this “Grim” might be a fake, like copy-Deuce before, his mouth had already moved on its own. “Who are you calling hedgehog head, you shit tanuki?!”

An angry hiss, followed by a shrill caterwaul echoed from the treetops (or were they mushroomtops?). Ace readied himself to dodge by instinct, but soon realized that there was no need to, for the other voice held the supposedly-Grim back.

“Grim, stand down.”

“But-”

“No.” Sharper this time.

Kind-of-Grim let out a wail of protest. “This brat, he-”

“Grimm Absolem.” The calmer voice commanded with a familiar and scary tone of finality. “Attack the boy and you’ll regret it.”

The hissing quickly stopped.

So imposter-Grimm’s surname was Absolem, huh. Ace wondered if that was the real Grimm’s surname too.

“Up here, boy.”

Ace looked up, and sure enough, a not-Grimm and a not-Prefect were sitting atop a bright red-and-white spotted mushroom, and the former was being forcibly restrained by the latter around his neck and torso using the cornflower ribbon around his neck and a tube from what looked like ...a hookah? So this faux-Prefect smoked, huh?

“Who are you?”

“Oh, I’m-”

The fake-Prefect interrupted with a good-natured smile on their face. “I see, your name is Ohi’m. Nice to meet you.”

Ace twitched in dissatisfaction. “Hey, don’t just interrupt people like that, asshole! Besides, isn’t it more polite to introduce yourself before you ask for others’ names?”

In their lap, Grim snarled. “Says the idiot going around throwing swear words in other people’s faces. No, why don’t _you_ introduce yourself?”

“Hell no! Explain yourselves first - who are YOU?” Ace had made the mistake of not getting quasi-Deuce’s identity once, he wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

“Don’t you dare talk to the great Grim-sama with that rude attitude of yours,...” not-really-Grim paused, as if looking for an acceptable insult, then realized he had none, and ended his sentence prematurely.

The reply from the not-quite-Prefect was more unassuming, but at the same time far more suspicious. “...They call me the Blue Caterpillar.”

“But that’s not your name, is it?” Ace retorts. “What reason do you have to hide your own name?” If this strange place was anything like Night Raven College, then this guy’s name would be the same as the Prefect back at Ramshackle, and their name was-

Shit. Ace actually had no idea.

Had anyone called the Prefect by name…?

It was either just “Hey, You” or “Yo, Prefect” (or on occasions when Floyd was there, “Little Shrimp”). Did anyone on campus even know their name?

The imitation-Prefect glanced up and down, as if considering between two choices on how to respond. “...I don’t know. No one knows.”

_...eeeyep._

“That’s why I asked you,” the copycat-Prefect continued. “Here, let me demonstrate-” They turn to Grim. “Who am I?”

“Jeez, I’ve told you a million times I don’t know! Even though you don’t smoke from that thing, you sure act like it…” Grim replied, attempting to wriggle free of the flexible tubing in vain.

“I don’t know, so I can’t tell myself either.” The not-Prefect turns back to Ace with a melancholic and forced smile on their face.. “Then, who am I? If I don’t remember my name and what I have done, then what’s the point of being here in first place?” 

Grim let out a confused and nervous meow.

...That got dark quick.

Seeing knockoff-Grim and Ace’s bewilderment and concern (not that he would admit it), the sort-of-Prefect’s expression quickly shifted to a much more lighthearted one. “Just kidding about that, you two. But really, the only thing I know about myself is that I live in Musicland. Learning something more about myself would be… nice, to say the least.”

Ace didn’t really believe in the blue-clad Prefect’s facade, but decided to proceed anyway. “Does it really matter? Besides, you’re you. Even if you don’t remember, that won’t change, right?”

The mock-Prefect paused with a stricken expression.

“What?” Ace panicked. “Did I say something wrong?!”

“Hahahahahaha!”

_...Hold on, what the fuck?!_

It wasn’t a laugh of despair, like those of the Dorm Heads’ before they went batshit insane and overblotted. It was a laugh of mirth, as if the duplicate-Prefect had found Ace’s words amusing.

“You could have just said that in first place, you know? I think I’m Yuu.”

“No, you’re not me, I am!”

“Yeah, exactly, Me! I’m Yuu!”

Was it just Ace, or was this Mock-Prefect much more of a troll than they usually were? _...wait, don’t tell me…_

“You’re telling me your name is Yuu?!” Ace gapes

“Yeah, jeez!” The reply is from not-Grim this time, evidently trying to pretend to understand despite the very obvious faltering of the flames on his head, just to one-up Ace. “How did you not get that, idiot kid?”

“Shut up! Like you understood that either, racoon.”

The fake-Prefect just chuckles at their misery.

Ace, desperate to change the subject, hurriedly went back to why he was at the mushroom forest in first place. “Um… yeah! Have you seen a guy who has dark blue hair and rabbit ears and jumps really far? I think he was… going to meet the Queen?” Ace put his hands above his head to mock/imitate phony-Deuce’’s rabbit ears, earning a thoughtful hum from newly-(newly?)-dubbed perhaps-Yuu.

“Rabbit ears?” questions Tanuki-Number-2.

“You must be referring to the White Rabbit,” probably-Yuu hypothesized, pointing to their left. “He went that way, if I’m not mistaken. Towards the Mad Hatter’s tea party.”

The… Mad Hatter? Huh. Who would that be in Night Raven College terms?

“Speaking of the Queen, we should probably get ready for it, too. If you’re going to look for the White Rabbit, chances are you’ll wind up at the Palace. In that case, meet you there~” Not-Yuu finally begins to free Alter-Grim from his makeshift restraints. “What are you still doing here, Me? Shoo!”

Ace manages to throw in a “My name’s Ace!” before he sets off in the indicated direction.

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**Crazy Tea Time**

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Ace exited the mushroom forest after a few minutes of jogging, and was greeted with the sight of a sunny field full of flowers. Aside from a persistent and cheerful melody in his head, there were also the sounds of an ongoing conversation.

There were people here? Well, all the better for Ace to track down bunny-Deuce with. Ace proceeded in the direction of the voices, and caught the aroma of pastries and tea in the air. Following the sweet scent, he spotted two very familiar figures sitting (well, one was sleeping face down in his arms) at a long table.

Trey? Cater? Having tea and _sweet_ pastries together?! Unbelievable.

Well, maybe that was just more proof that those two were fake, like not-Deuce, not-Grim and not-Yuu before them.

The taller male at the table had spotted Ace approaching, and had turned to face him. “Lovely afternoon, isn’t it? Why don’t you join us for teatime? Take a seat and let’s begin!”

_Eh?_

Ace didn’t know why - maybe it was instinct to obey his senior, maybe it was the temptation of mock-Trey’s tasty tarts - but he pulled out one of the ornate white chairs and sat down at the table filled with teacups, teapots and tiered cake stands, as the elder male suggested.

“Cater, get up - we have a guest, why don’t you make them some tea?”

The sleeping brunette began to sluggishly move, like a certain narcoleptic Diasomnia student. After righting himself, pseudo-Cater rubbed his eyes, reached for the nearest teapot and focused on Ace. “A guest, you say?”

The glint of mischief rivalling Lilia’s in sleepy-Cater’s eyes did not reassure Ace in the least.

“Um… who are you anyway? And why are you suddenly inviting me for tea?” queried Ace.

“Who cares, kid? Don’t be so stuck up!” replies the Cater lookalike. Somehow, there was already a new set of cutlery in front of Ace, and his false-senior was pouring tea into a elaborate and elegant light coral teacup. “Now, would you like some tea?”

_Aren’t you supposed to ask before you do it?_ sassed Ace internally.

“Yes, yes. Have some mont blanc too, while you’re at it.” The two’s voices overlapped in tune to Ace’s internal rhythm, like a duet harmonizing. The sight of imposter-Trey’s tantalizing confectioneries, however, made Ace’s mild irritation and confusion dissipate immediately while distracting him from his random epiphany - the sheer deliciousness of the pies back in Heartslabyul were no joke. “Go on, have some.”

Ace complied without question or hesitation, and scooped up a spoonful of the tempting-looking treat upon the fine china. After all, if this Trey was anything like the Trey back in Heartslabyul, then surely this mont blanc would taste like the handiwork of a god-

_Eh…?_

The tart placed before Ace was indeed a mont blanc. He had seen and made enough of those tarts to know the difference. For all intents and purposes, it looked just like one of the mont blancs Ace had made with the others for Riddle. Then, why did Ace taste the bright and zesty flavour of lemon meringue pie instead? Hell, even the texture was fluffy instead of the normal creamy. Was this the work of Doodle Suit or something?

The look of confusion on the first-year’s face was enough to prompt a laugh from not-Cater and an explanation from not-Trey. 

“You didn’t see that coming, didn’t you? Desserts like these are Trey’s specialty, after all.”

Definitely-not-Trey let out a small chuckle. “Yes, Cater is right - Although I do bake ‘regular’ sweets on occasion, they are far too ordinary and monotonous - eating the same old pastries day after day does get boring, after all. So, I have taken to baking more of these unique and surprising pies.” The hat-wearing faker pointed at the pastry before Ace as if to accentuate his point, and smiled warmly. “It’s a pleasure to have someone new try them out.”

“Leave it to the Mad Hatter to make such wonderfully mad pies! Seriously, they taste great and are awesome pranks!” Imposter-Cater chimed in. “If only there was a way to let all of Musicland know about these crazy teatimes…” Mirror-Trey chuckled again and flushed a little. Ace took it as an invitation to take more of the pie, because damn, that pie was good even if their flavours didn’t match their looks.

After taking a bite of strawberry pie and tasting sweet cherry (to his absolute delight), Ace couldn’t help but parallel the actions of this Cater to those of the Cater back at Heartslabyul. “For someone who speaks so highly of these pies, you haven’t even touched a single one of them,” Ace responds. “What’s up with that?”

Doppelganger-Cater has the decency to look away, blushing ever so slightly. “Uh… well, you see…”

“Cater here doesn’t like sweets,” Not-Trey interrupts with a flicker of (obviously lighthearted and joking) regret in his voice. “Which is truly saddening, but there is nothing we can do about it. So, whenever we have tea parties, Cater makes the tea, drinks the tea, eats the savoury foods, and goes to sleep.” The hatted male shook his head dramatically, overexaggerating his actions for comedic effect.

“Not my fault I can’t stand them!” copy-Cater whined indignantly. 

Dupli-Trey recovers from his faux-hurt state, and takes one of the plates of pie in hand. “Although, speaking of savoury pastries… Mr. Stranger, why don’t you try some? These ones are made with the Queen’s recipe, so I urge you to have a taste of them.”

In hindsight, Ace knew he should have taken the impish light in false-Trey’s eyes as a warning and not as a mere trick of the light.

Accepting the slice of pie (strawberry again? okay) that was thrust his way, Ace took his fork, cut off the tip of the pie, speared it with his fork, and took a bite.

...

It was… 

It tasted like…

Ace hurriedly took the teacup and drained the way-too-hot Earl Grey in a single gulp before pouring himself an extra cup and downing that too, just to wash the jarring taste out of his mouth.

“IT TASTES LIKE OYSTER SAUCE, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Ace swore that too-troll-to-be-the-real-Trey was laughing just as hard as, if not even harder than fake-Cater.

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

**Invisible Cat**

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

After asking his parallel upperclassmen (who were also slated to attend the Queen’s meeting, or whatever it was supposed to be) for directions towards the Queen’s Palace and receiving their wishes of luck, Ace quickly set off towards the trail within the imposing and dark forest…

...and got lost. Great.

The ominously descending harp glissandos in Ace’s head only served to highlight the sinister atmosphere. Like the place needed to be any more terrifying (not that Ace was scared, of course, he was just done with the feel of the place, definitely.)

The path beneath his feet had long since faded away into the undergrowth, letting Ace know that he was completely, horribly, hopelessly lost, in a place he could never escape from. The heavy fog only served to further obscure his way - as if he needed any more hindrance in a place like this.

Even the wind wasn’t helping him any - the growth was so dense that the air was forced to blow in confusingly roundabout ways that Ace couldn’t use to locate himself with.

Then, what was he to do? Which way was he to go?

“Jeez, so indecisive… pick a path and stick to it, won’t you? Well, not like I can complain - I do love taking my time wandering around hither and thither, after all~”

No, Ace did not jump three feet in the air and squawk like a chicken due to shock, no matter what anyone insisted. That was absurd. Instead, he totally turned around to face the mysterious voice calmly and composedly, because that was what someone as cool and composed as Ace would have done. Yeah, definitely.

.(After he had calmed himself down sufficiently) Ace turned around to find a familiar-looking face (well, only the head, actually) with a shock of purple hair and an unmistakable set of cat ears.

“Che’nya?!”

“Close, but not quite - It’s Alchemi, or the Cheshire Cat, for short… for long?” The newly-identified Cheshire Cat paused to think for a moment, before shaking his head like he had given up on thinking entirely. Well, use whichever you prefer, I guess. Most just call me Cat.”

“Well… Alchemi,” - ugh, the name felt weird to say - “do you know the way out of this forest?” inquired Ace.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Eh? Of course that’s what I want-” Ace’s indignant rebuttal was interrupted by a calm statement from the imposter-Che’nya.

“Then tell me why you were in this forest to begin with.”

“To find the Queen’s palace!” Ace’s patience was running thin, and he has a sneaking suspicion that not-Che’nya was well aware of this fact.

“Then why were you heading to the Palace?” Fake-Chenya disappeared, and reappeared behind Ace. It only served to tick him off a little more.

“Um… to look for Deu- the White Rabbit.”

“Why were you looking for the White Rabbit?”

The winds picked up around Ace, as if in response to his mounting agitation. “...That’s none of your business! Gah, just tell me where the palace is!” 

“...Oh, but it is~” The seemingly omnipresent grin on doppel-Che’nya’s face widened, much to Ace’s absolute frustration. “After all, I am also heading to the palace, much like yourself! Now, would you be so kind as to state your business with the Queen?”

Ace could feel fumes of anger rising from his head. “I told you, I’m looking for Deuce! For the sake of the Seven, learn to fucking listen when you ask questions!” Despite his anger, the Cheshire Cat didn’t seem to have paid him any mind.

“Deuce…? Ah, so that was the slip-up you made. You really don’t mean any harm to the Queen, do you?”

“Hell no! What does the Queen have to do with this, anyway?”

“You’re going to the Palace, of course this has to do with the Queen - If you’re going to the Palace, but you aren’t looking for the Queen, then you must be madder than even I!” Faux-Che’nya chuckled a little at that statement. “Well, in that case, follow me~!”

_...Hold on, does this mean that he was baiting me to check if I posed a threat to the Queen? Why would he even need to do that?!_

“Oh, and sorry for riling you up before - I was just worried about Riddle. Even if he’s got a stick up his ass, he’s one of my best friends, and I have to make sure you aren’t planning to kill him. That has happened before, after all, and it’s better safe than sorry.”

Eeeyep, so Riddle was the Queen. Speaking of which, wasn’t the whole theme of the place a little similar to the period of history about the Queen of Hearts? A Queen, a White Rabbit, a Mad Hatter… Did that mean parallel-Riddle was supposed to be the actual fucking Queen of Hearts?! The one that the Heartslabyul Dorm was based off of? Ace wondered just what he did to end up in a place like this. 

Welp, shit. Ace was doomed. The Queen of Hearts was renowned for her severity and strictness, especially regarding her laws… combine those traits with Riddle’s personality and trigger-happy proclamations of “off with your head”? Yeah, Ace would be lucky to get out alive.

“Here, follow me,” instructed imposter-Che’nya. “I’ll lead you out of this forest and to the castle, so follow closely and don’t get lost again, okay?”

“I can’t follow you if you turn invisible, you dick!”

The utter lack of repentance in faux-Che’nya’s ensuing apology was enough to make Ace’s blood boil again.

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

**The Empress**

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

“ALL HAIL HIS MAJESTY THE QUEEN!”

...What the fuck was not-Deuce doing, acting like fake-Riddle’s servant? The way he was behaving made Ace inclined to believe that rabbit-Deuce had somehow switched personalities with Sebek, what with all the loud shouting and obscene levels of respect (worship?) for one person.

Not-Che’nya has wisely decided to turn invisible, so as to sneak into the palace and avoid a beheading from lateness. Even though they were literally four seconds late. Ace was partially pissed because of the sheer unreasonableness of the rules, but also because fuck, did even-more-of-an-asshole-Che’nya just leave him to fend for himself?

In the few seconds it took for false-Che’nya to materialize in one of the seats in the courtyard, unnoticed by most, a boisterous yet regal fanfare sounded, heralding the Queen’s arrival. The redhead who appeared with the fanfare didn’t shock Ace at all - as he had initially suspected, the Queen was a Riddle lookalike. Ace couldn’t help but idly wonder how well the actual Riddle would take to being called the Queen of Hearts.

Well, guess Ace had no choice but to wait for the right moment to barge in and badger Deuce. Until then, all he could do was crouch behind the rosebushes like a creep. ...Although, when exactly was the “right moment”? With his position being right next to copy-Riddle’s it would be pretty hard to approach him without raising a ruckus...

“I, Riddle Rosehearts, am the Queen of Musicland. By the power vested in me as Queen, we shall now begin the court proceedings. Obey me and we will have no problems during the following trial session.” 

A… trial session? Outdoors, in a courtyard? Either Ace was tripping, or this entire dimension was madder than he could comprehend. Last the brunette checked, trials were very serious occurrences that were usually held indoors, in courts- _ooooh_. This made at least some sense, as twisted as that line of logic was. Now that he looked at it, the placement of chairs and benches was kind of like those in the trial scenes he had seen in TV dramas...

The redhead coughed once into his fist, both as a break to his statement and a call for attention. “We gather to judge the Knave of Hearts for stealing a slice of strawberry tart, which originally belonged to the Queen of Hearts.”

_Oh, no, not this bullshit again._

Even though the entire courtyard was deafeningly silent, doppel-Riddle still hit a gavel against the table, just for good measure. “Calling the first witness!”

Beside him, rabbit-Deuce called out, “the Mad Hatter, Trey Clover!”

Not-Trey stood up wordlessly, teacup in one hand and a small mont blanc in the other. Pseudo-Riddle picked up where impostor-Deuce had left off, and began to question the Mad Hatter. “You were the one who made the pie that was stolen, yes?”

“Yes, Ri-Your Majesty.”

“In that case, please give us the date of when and where you made this tart, as well as a list of ingredients and procedures.” ...Huh? What did this have to do with literally anything about the case? Wasn’t this a trial and not a cooking show? _Next thing you know, Riddle would be asking about cooking techniques and commenting on the texture of the pie crust_ , Ace thought.

False-Trey evidently had similar concerns in his mind, as evidenced by the obvious struggles to maintain a straight face, even from a distance. “I do not remember the exact recipes and ingredients I used, Your Majesty, and I believe they are not necessary for the solving of this case. 

Impostor-Riddle twitched, and ordered faux-Trey to return to his seat before imitation-Deuce called out for “The Dormouse, Cater Diamond”.

Had fake-Cater been any less of an expert liar, the confusion on his face would have been obvious even to someone miles away. “Um, Your Majesty? I thought I was supposed to be juror? And I’m no witness, I-”

The Dormouse was interrupted by a very irate Queen. “Silence in the court, witness! Or it will be off with your head!” Ace flinched a little at the sound of the dreaded phrase he had heard too many times in his first few month in Night Raven College.

“I don’t even know anything relevant to the case, Your Majesty-!”

“SILENCE!” came faux-Riddle’s booming voice. The entire court became even quieter somehow, in the aftershock of his loud order. Even Grim’s swishing tail froze at the command. “You are a witness, and therefore you must know something! Now speak, else I will behead you!”

Not-Riddle’s demands were met with a helpless silence.

“If you can’t provide any information as a witness, then you must be hiding something - then you must be a partner in crime to the perpetrator, and hence, you will be sentenced to death! Guards!”

“But, but- the verdict?!” false-Cater desperately cried out, only remembering to tack on a hurried “Your Majesty” at the end of his exclamation.

“No!” Doppelganger-Riddle barked. “Don’t you know the Laws of Hearts, Dormouse?! Sentence first, verdict afterwards!”

What the fuck was with this bullshit logic?! Even the real Grim, who was about as sharp as a gluestick, could probably tell that the causal relationships in that one single sentence were completely messed up. Honestly, even pre-overblot Riddle might be better than this - at least he didn’t try to behead people without any reasoning behind it (as strange as that reasoning was).

  
  


“So you’re the Queen? Funny these people still call you a queen - you’re more like a baby tyrant from what I see.”

Wait, who said that, and how did Ace move from behind the rosebushes to right in front of the fake-Rosehearts himsel- Oh, how Ace hated his legs and voice which acted much, much faster than his one braincell.

“What?! Of course I am the Queen! How dare you question my rule?! GUARDS! TAKE HIM TO THE GUILLOTINE!” ...Eh? A… guillotine? For Riddle’s signature “Off With Your Head”? Not just his normal sealing magic? Didn’t this imposter-Riddle see how unreasonable and oppressive he was being? Threatening to straight up kill fake-Cater because of his own stupidity? Over a single slice of tart, no less?! Ace would not stand for this.

With a strong burst of wind magic, Ace deflected faux-Deuce’s incoming spear strike with excess prejudice, sending him careening towards the floor, before knocking down a dozen card soldiers with ease - after all, they were just thick paper, nothing more. The shocked stares from his large audience were almost palpable. Ace swore he heard a stunned whisper of “magic…?!” from the makeshift jury.

“Hell yeah, I’m questioning your rule - you were trying to kill someone for just not knowing, even when they had zero reason to have known anything about the ‘ _crime_ ’!” Ace spat out the last word with contempt. “Besides, it was literally a single slice of pie! Why did you have to hold this farce of a trial anyway?! You already know the culprit - hell, you said so yourself! The Knave of Hearts! Just ask for compensation - a slice of pie in return, a favor, a fine, whatever! What Queen would let a petty tantrum escalate into a nationwide matter?!” Taking a step forward, Ace continues on with his heated tirade. “Plus, what dumbass delivers the sentence before the verdict? That makes no sense at all - if you had just used your brain a little, instead of following every single rule in the book blindly, you’d have known that ages ago! You’re no Queen, _Riddle_ . You’re just a trigger happy, selfish _brat_ with no independent thought!”

“You- You-!” Not-Riddle’s face was so red it could pass for a shade of purple. “Aaaaaugh! How dare you, you insolent little pest?! I am the Queen, abiding by the Laws of Heart, so I must be right! Right…?”

_If he somehow overblots here, I swear…_

The entire palace was wrapped in an uncomfortable silence once more. No one dared to break the tense quietness.

“...you don’t think so, huh.” There was nowhere as much resentment or anger as Ace would have expected. Instead, that void was filled with resignation. Not-Riddle visibly shrunk into himself, making his once imposing figure seem almost pitiful. “Guess I should have seen this coming. I really am a terrible Queen, huh.”

_...That went better than expected, actually._ Ace mused. _I’m probably dreaming, that’s the only way this would all make sense - oh, who am I kidding, this place is even more twisted than Night Raven College. If I have to play the villain again, right after that fiasco with Eliza and the ghosts, I might throw a fit. Hell, I should just do that right now, everyone probably sees me as the “bad guy” already, what with fake-Riddle’s reaction._

Fake-Trey, much like how his real-life counterpart would, rushed to his Queen’s support. “No, no, don’t say that! You have the skills to be Queen, surely-”

“Just say it, Trey. I have the skills of a queen, but not the heart of the Queen. I suppose I still have far to go before I can truly be a queen to you all.” The redhead was visibly quivering, but managed to hold back his tears, even in the face of Ace’s cruel words and the following horrible revelation. 

“You do have the heart of a Queen, though, don’t you, Riddle?” chimed in the Cheshire Cat. “You’re only following those rules so strictly because you thought it was beneficial to us, right? So don’t worry about it too much - you have good intentions, just fixing up your actions will be easy compared to fixing up your attitude~” Even though imitation-Chenya’s voice was gentle and carefree, Ace heard wisdom beyond his years within. Well, there was a fair amount of hostility directed towards Ace for making fake-Riddle depressed, but the first-year in question decided to very tactfully ignore that.

“Honestly?’ Cater lightly interjected from behind Ace. “As long as you don’t threaten to kill anyone again, I can totes get behind your rule. You’re really not a bad Queen, you know. Maybe you’re a little too impulsive with punishments at times, but you’ve more than learned your lesson already.”

Deuce, who had returned to his place next to the Queen’s throne, nodded in agreement. “Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. As long as you’ve learned from them to become a better Queen, then there’s no problem - it would be my honor to serve a someone as dedicated and diligent as you are.”

“And I share his sentiments,” added fake-Yuu, who had stayed silent for long enough that their presence was nearly forgotten. “You have plenty of time to rectify your mistakes - as long as you’re determined enough to pull it off, you could definitely be the greatest monarch Musicland has seen in centuries. Don’t you think so, Grim?”

The flying cat in question let out an energetic “nyaaah!”, and elaborated tactfully,, “Yeah, you were a huge asshole sometimes, but when you’re not, you’re actually really good at your job! Ac-”

“Grim, do me a favor and shut up.”  
  


“...fine.”

“See? You’re not a bad Queen, Riddle. Everyone - well, everyone except Ace - thinks so, and he doesn’t even live here.” Doppel-Trey paused and patted not-Riddle on the head, much like how a big brother would do for a younger sibling. Don’t doubt yourself so much. It’s true that some of the rules and decisions that you have made are not the wisest or the most practical, but you now know what’s truly best for us all - we’ll be with you every step of the way.” 

“He’s not wrong - you’re the Queen, so you know what’s best for the people, right?” Ignore the glares, ignore the glares, ignore the glares. Ace barreled onwards, skillfully blinding himself to the mood. “If everyone thinks that a rule is unreasonable, nothing’s stopping you from changing it. You’re the damn Queen, after all. Rules that might have been sensible once upon a time might be total bullshit now - I mean, verdict after sentence doesn’t make sense and you know it! Just following them blindly isn’t good for anyone, so why don’t you start changing this country for the better? I mean, you heard the others - they think you’re a good enough Queen - it’s about time you lived up to those expectations, yeah?”

There was a small pause before Queen-Riddle responded, and began to chuckle lightly. “...Yes, I suppose there is truth to your words. Thank you, all of you.” Supporting himself with the hands of Deuce and Trey’s musicland counterparts, he stood up from his throne, and began to descend to the center of the court gingerly, stairstep by stairstep. With each step the monarch took, Ace vision blurred a fraction, and by the time false-Riddle touched down onto the courtyard floor, all he could see was a mess of red and black, in shades reminiscent of Heartslabyul Dorm. A faint voice began to resound in his ear, and the world began to shake.

_...Wha?!_

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

**Finale**

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

“..up! Dammit, Ace, it’s time for dinner, get up already!”

Did Ace black out at the court or something? Oh, for the love of the Seven, why couldn’t he have picked literally any other moment to do that?! Sure, that explained the impact to his back… But wait, that didn’t explain the shaking...

“...leaves me with no other choice! Summon, cau-”

Ace’s survival instincts flared up. _Oh no._

“GAAAAAH!! I’m up, I’m up! Jeez, don’t go around threatening to slam people into the floor with cauldrons! It’s like you’ve never heard of the phrase ‘violence is never the answer’!” Ace spun around to meet his attacker, and was met with Deuce’s deadpan face.

_Wait, what?!_

“I’m amazed you slept through all that but not a single phrase, Ace. It’s six already, and if you don’t head to the cafeteria, you’ll have nothing to eat. Jeez, at least tell me you’re done with your homework-” Deuce swerved around and lifted Ace’s arm to get a better look at his papers, and discovered that-

“Ace! You’ve made zero progress on the entire paper! Do you know how pissed Dorm Head Riddle is going to be?!" _Flip flip flip._ "What the he- heck, you haven't done the Alchemy papers either?! He’s definitely going to ‘off’ you, blah blah blah blah...”

Ace automatically tuned Deuce out with the a professional level of experience, and gave himself time to digest what had just happened. ...That fiasco with the White Rabbit, the Caterpillar, the Mad Hatter and the Dormouse, the Cheshire Cat, the Queen of Hearts… it was all a dream? But- but it was so real, and so much had happened, and-

_“Ace!”_ Deuce’s sharp voice did not bring Ace back to reality, but the sudden slap on his shoulder did. “Seriously, are you sick or something? I've been calling your name at least thrice now!" Deuce's irritated tone morphed into one of concern, and his voice softened significantly. "You're really out of it… Do you need to go back to your room?"

Ace, as expected of an asshole like him, slapped Deuce's hand away along with his sudden burst of concern. "Eh, I'm fine, I don't need you to baby me, I just needed some time to wake up..." And before Deuce got the chance to retort, the brunette cheekily added, "And by the way, shouldn't we be off to the cafeteria, like you suggested?"

Deuce stilled, and started sprinting out the doors of Heartslabyul Dorm without notice. "Shit, we're going to be late! Come on Ace, there are omelettes on the menu today and if they're sold out, I'm blaming it on you!"

"Alright- jeez, slow down a little, will you?! Wait up!"

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

**THE END**

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

_Cast:_

_Ace Trappola as Alice Liddel_

_Deuce Spade as the White Rabbit_

_Yuu (the Player Character) and Grim as the Caterpillar (Strange Singer)_

_Trey Clover as the Mad Hatter_

_Cater Diamond as the Dormouse/March Hare_

_Alchemi Alchemivich Pinka (Che’nya) as the Cheshire Cat_

_Riddle Roseheart as the Queen of Hearts_

🗦♠♥♚♣♦🗧

**Author's Note:**

> Sincere thanks go to @YeetTheAngels for proofreading and offering constructive criticism!
> 
> Thank you for reading this fic, and concrit and other feedback is always welcome! (read: roast me) (alternatively, let's play a game called "spot the typos and the wrong tenses")


End file.
